Jay Leno

Not only to you step all over David Letterman's career, his dreams, his rite? Now you want to deny two more men who have worked hard and put in their time to get to their respective places. I don't like Jimmy Fallon, I don't think he's funny, but I'd rather it be him than Carson Daily. Of course your ratings would be terrible, you are not funny. The only people who watched your show are old farts who use you as white noise before they fall asleep. Your comedy is good for sleep timered noise, and nothing else. I hope you get in a car accident in every single one of your priceless cars, each removing one vital human function until you're left as lifeless and outplayed as your schtick. Fucker.

Red Hat Society

Anyone know how we can celebrate being elitist and white and not get spit on in the streets? What if we wear goofy red hats and stupid boas? That should tip the scales of sympathy just enough in our favor that people don't punch us in the face for being the group of cunts that we really are right? I would put money down that 90% of these old bitches membership is made up of former sorority members. You're not important, no one feels excluded, you stink like moth balls and a lifetime of disappointment from your role poppin out kids and your desperate attempt to live it up is falling short because you have to lug an oxygen tank or 60 picutres of your grandkids everywhere you go. I fucking hate you old twats.

Rudy Giuliani

You may have issued your token apologies clarifications, but you knew what you were saying and you knew what you were doing. You aren't the first one to try and whitewash over the greatest single act of terrorism in the history of the United States, it's just really ironic that you'd be the douche to try it. No one would give two shits about you if we weren't forced to watch you exploit it all over our TV's for months after 9/11. You even tried using it to serve an unprecedented third term, rewriting history for the sake of yourself. You are the lowest form of scum and have shown nothing but more of the same with your ridiculous comments. Speaking of despicable pieces of shit, this is one of the biggest stories of the new year, now try finding any mention of it whatsoever on foxnews.com I'll give $5 and a blumpkin to anyone that can find it and post the link.

TSA

So one retard blows his dick off and now I have to show my dick, balls, and taint everytime I get on an airplane? So let me get this straight. Waterbottle toting, shoe-bomb wearing terrorists are concealing crude devices that ensure they will not procreate, yet I am still somehow inconvenienced? Have you ever stopped to talk to a TSA...what member, officer? Who gives a shit. You ever talked to a dumbass wearing the above patch? These motherfuckers are the problem. These same people used to be cleaning our toilets, delivering our newspapers, and complaining about rising gas prices affecting their bottom line when delivering pizzas. Their careers apparently prepared them to racially profile very effectively and keep us safe. That's what's happening, right? I've never been pulled aside. I flew 3 times with a pocket knife that was attached to my keys and it wasn't caught until my stop in Kansas City (best and brightest?), where the man bluntly stated, "you can't bring a knife onto the plane". I wasn't even hiding it, completely forgot it was there, but more importantly, so did these extra chromosomed jerkoffs. Guarantee they will soon completely do away with carry ons while increasing the prices for checked luggage. I wish being on a train didn't make me feel poor.

California

So lemme get this straight...you get to smoke legal weed, your college is highly subsidized, you have the best beaches in the country, along with numerous national parks, world renowned wineries, and beautiful women that are the objects of pop songs. And you need us to pay you to keep running? What the fuck? Just ask Cameron to film Avatar 2-5 in your greenscreen studios. Boom, economy problems solved!

n00bs

Who the fuck uses internet explorer? Apparently a vast majority of you fucking n00bs. These are the same r tards who call tech support without actually turning their computers on. Have fun with your itunes, windows media player, and genuine copy of microsoft office. The collected p0wn3rs are laughing in your factory setting faces. If you understand this, you are a nerd.

Tim Tebow

Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you and fuck off. There is no Jesus, there is no God. Even on the very off chance that I am wrong (completely unheard of as of this post), he doesn't give a fuck about you or the Florida Gators winning football games. He's too busy killing people enjoying a volleyball game, and not (righteously) killing Rush Limbaugh. Guess God forgot about you this day:

Thankfully, now that you, and your non-translating talent, are out of college football, you can go back into obscurity like the other douchebag who used to shove John 3:16 down our fucking throats.