You know what my life was lacking just a few short years ago? Celebrities on commercials. Now I can't turn on ESPN for 5 fucking seconds without seeing Luke Wilson trying to get me to change my cell phone plan. Celebrities used to have enough dignity to only overexpose themselves for profit (even more) across the ocean:
Hey Wyclef, way to go from Fugees to Mytouch, Christina/Beyonce your terrible music is driving me further away from Directv, who the fuck would want to smell like Britney/Paris Hilton/et al? Didn't know they were able to bottle the scent of cum, terrible upbringing, and soullessness. My eyelashes are a perfectly adequate length, fuck off Brooke Shields. Aren't you people whoring yourself out enough with your talentless cd's, recycled movies, and indulgent books? I don't need what you're selling (except for Hulk's ac unit). I hope that you have sons...handsome, beautiful articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt.
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